Distraught Mother Finds Hard Drive Filled with Fox vs. Puff Sets Under Son’s Bed

A local mother in Pawtucket, Rhode Island found her son’s secret Fox vs. Jigglypuff videos stored on a hard drive under his bed this Saturday. The hard drive contained over 60 Gigabytes of the longest and most loathsome sets of Fox vs. Jigglypuff, ranging all the way back to 2014. The son, age 17, said he had been “exploring himself” by watching these sets and they made him get rather “hype.”

“I want my son back,” the mother reported. “The little boy that used to make his own lemonade stands, have water balloon fights with the neighbors, and play his favorite character Captain Falcon vs. his brother… I don’t know who he is anymore.”

“Everyone has something they don’t tell their parents, and I tried for a long time to ask her for help, but I didn’t know how,” the son responded. “I started watching these sets a few years back when a friend at school showed me and I just got addicted. I love watching Foxes get punished hard, and the moment a rest hits, I feel my heart flutter.”

The Turnip’s scientists have responded to this event with their own explanations of what makes a young boy attracted to this type of deviancy. “There’s a time in every young boy’s life when he comes of age and tries to explore who he is. It’s only natural. Some boys, however, are bored of the ‘conventional’ videos you may find on the internet- the Fox vs Falco, Falcon vs. Fox, Marth vs. Falco… And they decide to explore other avenues.”

Due to the immense generosity of The Turnip, the boy has been sent to a therapist to help him deal with his perversion and attempt to assimilate into society.

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