Gamecube Controller Announces it’s Taking a Break

After three years of consistent weekly play by Christian ‘SpunkT’ Latham, his silver Nintendo Gamecube controller has announced it will be taking a break from competitive Melee. The announcement comes as a surprise to fans, as the controller had just returned from its first ever major.

“I began noticing problems with my control stick sometime about a year ago— but it was nothing bad. When I went to the doctor for a routine appointment last week, they found the spring in my R button was misaligned, and I had a buildup of lint and crumbs in my lower C-Stick,” said the controller.

Many professional Melee controllers have stated that everyone should be conscientious of the lack of ergonomics when being held in a player’s hand. Recently, even medical professionals have voiced their concerns about controllers being used for Melee.

“The damage that can be inflicted to controllers under continual use can degrade the outer shell, as well as wear away muscles in the Control and C-Stick; we’ve even seen A, B, and Z buttons permanently pressed inwards,” said a PHD Controller Physician from the Southern California area, “stay away from strenuous games such as Super Smash Brothers Melee if possible.”

The 19-year-old owner from Lincoln, Nebraska, seemed pejorative about the controller’s decision, but voiced that it was “for the best.” SpunkT failed to make top 512 at the recent Evo 2017, and is hoping to find a new controller that will allow him to better mindlessly grind tech skill for hours on end.

At press time, the controller announced it will be attempting to full-time stream in the coming months and, after inevitably failing, will return to Melee.

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