Future of the B0XX accurately predicted; is worse than expected

Over a year ago, the Turnip posted an article predicting the Smashbox would be legalized based off a 40 page mandate. Earlier this week, Aziz “Hax$” Al-Yami released a document regarding his controller, the B0XX, in a brief 143 pages; it outlined specifications of the controller’s design and argued for the legalization of the B0XX in tournament play.

The 100+ page document was filled with copious amounts of technical jargon and high-level theory that only those who have studied Melee from birth can understand (as Hax$ did). Some high-profile community members, like Daniel “Tafokints” Lee, falsely claim to have read and understood what the document is saying.

Members of the /r/SmashBros subreddit community have been working around the clock to translate the document into meaningful language. As of 11:00 a.m. today, just the first three pages of the document have been deciphered, which include the title page and a portion of the introduction in which Hax$ outlines his superiority to everyone in the community.

The following is a translated excerpt from the document:

“A lot of people think I’m not a godslayer like Leffen and Plup, but the truth is that I’ve always been a godslayer. In addition to the two I’ve already taken down, I’ve defeated PPMD, Armada, and Hungrybox multiple times in tournaments which I held inside my own mind. Because of this, I have the proper logos to say that the B0XX should be legalized.”

The report is estimated to be fully deciphered by 2021, and will surely give insights into the legality of the B0XX. Stay with the Turnip as new details are uncovered.

 


 The Turnip writers are prophets now. We foresee you following our Twitter in the next 15 seconds.

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